


save me

by pinknomacherie



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-10-19 19:48:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17607839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinknomacherie/pseuds/pinknomacherie
Summary: Lapis wakes up on the beach. Jasper squeezes clothes on her face to Lapis who wants to die.





	save me

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [save me](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/453632) by カフカ. 



Sound of the wave. Sand entering between  toes .  T aste of sand that entered  my  mouth when rolling on the sandy beach. 

I  wonder strange about them. 

I  lay my body on the sandy beach and  narrow my eyes. 

Were they  a  real thing?  Indeed, did I feel  such a feeling before also ? 

The sand on the  sandy  beach heats  my  back gradually . That heat is truly unbearable, but I could never feel like moving. If  it ’ s  painful, you can just burn yourself.  My  body is always seeking to be managed in a dimension different from my intention.  I don ’ t care. 

Sunligh t is strong. My black eyelashes , covering  my  eyes narrowed by the glare of the sun, had heat and  they were even hot . 

It ’ s summer.

The sound of the waves was constantly heard  right  behind my head. 

More precisely  than  holding it in my hands , I recognized  its  movement. 

The waves are getting close enough to swallow me, break ing apart and go ing away. As if they  don ’ t  intend to be  staying there for a long time. 

I felt my feelings  very similar to hatred have heat inside  me and  are staying  uneasily .  Like a little child who lost  the timing to escape. 

I despaired that I  can’t remember my sense of childhood  well. Too much time,  I’ve been trapped in. 

I’m terribly confused by the sense that I’m having a body. Was the feeling of touching the ground with my limbs as such strange as this? Such, uneasy, disgraceful, terribly free.

The only thing I  could remember was that in the past I  was able to hear the surrounding sound  more  clear ly . 

Now, I can hear a strange sound constantly in my ears. It was also a sound that came from somewhere far away, and it seemed to be like something that I could hear in my head. An unpleasant sound. Sounds like a creaking pillar. Sounds like wringing out wet clothes forcibly although they can’t be wrung out any more. These sounds cover my ears, making it difficult to hear surrounding sounds. Squish, squish. 

T he sun constantly  and little by little  heats up  m y s kin covered with sand and sweat . Even the eyeball s behind my eyelids with my eyes closed. 

Closing my eyes, I’m afraid I may never be able to open my eyes. The sun was dazzling, the sand that heated my back was hot, and it was unbearable, but moving was terribly bothersome. I was horribly fatigued in terms of spirit, not physical strength. 

S udden ly , a shadow falls on me and I feel the light is obstructed. That shadow was so big as to cover all over my chest and above ,  and  I knew so fucking as to say who it was, so I  told  without opening my eyes.

“ Oh, you did n ’ t die . ”

It stares at me for a while. And,  it breathed away as  pshaw , and went away from me.

“ You  must be wanting to  die . ”

That of her sounded neither as  a grudge nor  as  an irony but simply as a fact , so I  suddenly felt deflated .

Inconveniently , and surprisingly, I was  slightly  aware that she  wasn’t  stupid. Always she can see things  clearly .  While she sees, she dares not to have seen . 

She seems to have just gone up from the sea right now, holding the  hem of her  soaked  clothes  with both hands and wringing out to her heart ’ s content . On  my face. T he sea water contained in her clothes falls on my face and bounces. On  the  dry skin.

“ S tand up . ”

She  said that and  glared at me. 

The  golden eyes with no temperature surely  don ’ t  allow any objections.

I ignored an d closed my eyes again. The sea water  that  remained on  my  face fell onto the sand one after another. Like saliva, and tear s .

Then, a severe pain runs on  my right hand. 

I get sick of it,  narrow my eyes , and look up at her. Sure enough, she got  impatient and grabbed my wrist.

F inger s holding me.  I felt creepy at the  difference in thickness. What a big hand it is.  Even with  making  a slight change , she  can  surely  and easily break  my arm .

She twists my wrist. Reflectively, I tremble with wiggles and clench the back teeth. At that moment, I’m irresistibly mortified. I don’t want to react in that way.

Come. 

Before  she  finish es saying so, she  makes me stand  up  easily as if she ’s  dragging me . 

I could hear that sound more intensely. The sound of a creaking pillar that I could hear from the back of my ear. Squish, squish.

She pulls my arm strongly,  and  I move my legs while wandering. 

I thought of myself ludicrous. Even this, literally means “walking on my will.” I’m simply trying not to fall. I can’t help but just giggle. 

I felt a feeling of water on  the back of  my feet  that kept me walk constantly  on the scorching  sand ,  and  I stopped  giggling . 

A feeling of wet sand . While being  dragged forcibly and unpleasant , I admit that  it’s  comfortable.

She s top s and face s me. 

When  she saw  my surprised face , she frown ed . While holding  my  wrist. 

While holding the wrist firmly, she takes two or three steps backward from me. I thought of what she was about to do as strange, knitted my brows and narrowed my eyes, and stared at her. 

Gently letting go of the wrist she held, she tangles her fingerswith me. And of all things, she lifts the hand gently on the heads of the two people. 

Then I f inally understood the meaning of her words.  She is trying  to  make me  dance.

Suddenly, she held my back, so I shrug my shoulders due to the pain. My back that I was lying down on the sandy beach a while ago was burned completely. 

I  don ’ t  know if she noticed that. Ballroom waltz is a dance in which each other ’ s face  is turned away and so  they can ’ t see  other ’ s face.

“ Hey, can ’ t you hear? ”

Irresistibly , I ask. 

“ Here, this sound. Squish, squish...... ”

According to her movement, I  sway my legs. You can  just adjust  to the leader. Our legs draw a triangle on the sand and  come back  again.  A gain and again. 

 

 

“ Don ’ t confuse me with you. I ’ m not  tired of living . ”

T urn.  She pulled my lower back with  her other hand, so  my body went rigid. 

I  could’ve  never thoug ht that this was the same woman’ s body. I wonder if this body has the same skeleton as  mine and the same contents are  inside . Mammary glands , pelvis, ovaries and  womb ? What a big hand. Each finger trembled me. With this arm,  she grabbed everything.  She can  easily  shake off  my life.  Surely  she can break  open  any thing unreasonable with these fingers . 

How would it be different if it were she? No matter how long she was trapped in loneliness and absence, I couldn’t think she would despair like me and lose the spirit to live.

In the meantime, I’m  horrified. 

Not believing in anything  was my only weapon.  Only,  and  invincible . 

That body is wrong. Strong waist thickness. That  robustness always makes me think it “maybe . ”

Ironically,  her body  was like a hero I longed for as a child. 

Perhaps , she may be a hero. I imagine. Like Superman. Like Peter Pan. To that idea, I  giggled . 

I kept giggling  much longer than I thought, so it was even  funnier . My hand, trying to  break free of it  to hold my mouth, was blocked by her holding  my hand back . 

That hand  grabbed  me  even  more strongly, she lifted  the  hand  again  and turned my body  a round.

I keep  giggling .  Giggling at being able to giggle incessantly ,  I  don’t understand what is  wrong anymore . 

I  stumble on my own  feet , and I fall down on the  sandy beach . 

She didn’t  support it,  let go of my hand  abruptly , and saw  me  fall really  unresponsive ly .

T rying to stand up  by  myself before  being  pulled back again, I took  my hand s on the  sandy beach . 

I realized  then  for the first time that  my body was full of  wounds . A number of  bruises that  appeared on  my  calves, thigh s , shin s and instep s . The sand  covers the  wounds , and it  discolors to a bad color to the body. The nail  of  the fourth toe on my left foot  is  peeled off and gone . She  was sitting down and staring at me while  grinning. I became ashamed.

When desperately trying to pull the hem to hide and cover with a skirt, she grabs my ankle,  and  draws it and gazes straight at  it . I was dragged again, and  my posture was completely  face up .  I f rown on the back pain. 

I  put my elbow s on and got up,  and  I stiffened myself. Because I felt the postu re was somewhat too special. It’s  something  I don’t  usually do, such as overlooking the top of her head  whose height is too tall.

“Let me give you shoes.”

And never take  them  off, she continued. 

Vaguely, I imagine. It’s  surely satin shoes. The ribbon crosses  at my  ankle, and it stops with a butterfly knot. Just  in a shape  as  it  restr ains me . 

To that imagination, I tremble.  The  r ibbon tightens my ankle , and I feel  gradually  restrained every time I move.

The sun sets. At dusk, it feels like even the air becomes a smell of dusk. 

I  put my elbows on and stand up slowly . 

I heard that sound  from afar  as usual.  Squish, squish.


End file.
